Being somewhat of an old fashioned girl at heart and being raised in a generation of days gone by, I have been pondering things that I had growing up that I want my kids to have. I received a forwarded email that put in a nutshell my thoughts and desires.
"We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life. Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you."
Although there are a few things in there that I don't really care to have my children experience, I do long for the good simple life. I want to be able to provide amazing memories for my children where they can learn the essentials to life. Memories that don't cost much, if anything at all, but will leave lasting imprints on the minds of my precious little boys. So, I ask you...all you amazing mothers out there, what do you do to create priceless (pun intended) memories for your little families. What little fun traditions have you started with your children that they love. What do you do to create special one-on-one experiences with each of your children. I know this isn't rocket science and we've done some fun things ourselves. But I would love to hear all of your ideas.
(Oh, and for the record. We are not disappointed about BYU at all. We truly are happy here. We just hope that someday we can be closer to grandparents. And we are planning to visit Indiana when Rob gets approved to come and do his written exams. Sometime this summer, I guess.)
"We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life. Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you."
Although there are a few things in there that I don't really care to have my children experience, I do long for the good simple life. I want to be able to provide amazing memories for my children where they can learn the essentials to life. Memories that don't cost much, if anything at all, but will leave lasting imprints on the minds of my precious little boys. So, I ask you...all you amazing mothers out there, what do you do to create priceless (pun intended) memories for your little families. What little fun traditions have you started with your children that they love. What do you do to create special one-on-one experiences with each of your children. I know this isn't rocket science and we've done some fun things ourselves. But I would love to hear all of your ideas.
(Oh, and for the record. We are not disappointed about BYU at all. We truly are happy here. We just hope that someday we can be closer to grandparents. And we are planning to visit Indiana when Rob gets approved to come and do his written exams. Sometime this summer, I guess.)
2 comments:
This is one of the many many things I love about you Kara. You are such a careful, thoughtful mother and treat it as a profession rather than a default existence. We are in the business of shaping our children, and that is something that requires thoughtful action.
I never thought about it in this context before, but something we are trying to give our children is the opportunity to work with us regularly. Conan is AMAZING at finding ways for them to help with very grownup projects, like installing appliances, fixing things, and building stuff. He always seems to be able to find a job well-suited to the little helper on hand. They are growing in their desire to help me in the kitchen, which is one of my very fondest memories as a child.
Kara,
I loved what you have written. I am so thankful for mothers like you.
Love,
Tammy Mecham
Maria's Mom in Law
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