After listening in on another General Conference, I 've been pondering what it is that I need to learn or do better. I admit that I always have to go back and read many of the talks again because I was taking care of children or dosed off. But I felt the spirit especially strong this time as I have been pondering my role and priviledge of a being a mother. At times I am extremely overwhelmed by the responsibility and am on the verge of throwing up my hands to give up. I get frustrated that my family can't function the same when I'm having an "off" day. The old saying of "when Mom's not happy, nobody is happy" really is true. I underestimate the influence I have on my children (and husband) when I choose to react poorly to a situation, or carry a cloud over my head throughout the day. There are many nights that I go to bed with tears, fearful that I am failing miserably. It was impressed upon me, as in the past, that these short years of raising children will pass quickly. That I must treat each moment as if it would be my last with them. If I was gone tomorrow, what would I have wanted to leave with my family? The spirit of contention? Or kindness, long-suffering, and an unwavering testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored Gospel. It was also impressed upon me that I need to work harder at holding to the Iron Rod by reading my scriptures and praying always. Doing everything I can to be closer to the Savior, thus, becoming more like Him in word and deed. Some tragic events have transpired in my family that have manifested the incredibly real power of satan. He is intent on breaking apart the family. It never ceases to amaze me how he can weasel his way into people's lives in such a sneaky and deceptive manner that even righteous God-fearing people cannot see through his wiles. And, before they know it, their minds and hearts are twisted and confused, poisened by satan's brilliant maneuvers. He'll get us when we are most vulnerable emotionally, physically, and spiritually. My job is to forgive and focus on my own spiritual development and that of my children so as to guard against the evil surrounding us everyday. I shouldn't waste any of my time worrying about what others are doing wrong. I've got plenty to worry about within myself. I feel so blessed to be a member of the only true church on the earth today. I'm so grateful to have the restored gospel in my life! I'm grateful that I have a message of hope and joy to share with my children, friends and family. Tonight as we were reading scriptures as a family, Adam was much more attentive than usual as we were discussing how the church was restored to the earth. His eyes got big when we talked about missionary work and helping others find the gospel. He expressed his excitement to be a missionary someday. Then he got a quisitive look on his face and paused. Then he said, "I think is a great idea to play Conference, then we can talk more about the gospel and Jesus Christ." My greatest desire is to see my children grow up in righteousness. I shudder to think of the things they may face, but I rejoice in the anticipation that they will do their part in building the kingdom. I'm kind of rambling at this point, but these are the thoughts of my heart today.
Here are a few pics of my most prized possessions. I admit that I do miss Lincoln's curls!